So I’ve always thought my husband and I communicated love to each other pretty well but one day I read something that was a huge "AHA" and changed everything for us! The Five Love Languages book by Gary Chapman completely changed how we communicate love to each other. Stay with me here, it’s actually fascinating!!
I was listening to a podcast by a couple of ladies, who read self help books, and then implement it into their life for two weeks. They come back, share their experiences and report back if it worked. When they first decided to read the Five Love Languages, they were pretty cynical about the whole concept. They thought it was a crazy concept.
The book explains that we all have at least one “language” out of five, that describes the way we show love as well as how we feel loved and appreciated. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
The podcast ladies didn’t believe in the idea of "love languages" so they went out to prove the theory false. What they didn’t expect to have happen was how it changed their friendship as well as their marriages.
In my case this was the same. My main love language is to show love by acts of service and my husband’s is to show love with words of affirmation (the book helps you identify what yours are if you’re not sure). What I didn’t understand at the time was that we also want to be shown love in the same way as we give it and if we aren’t getting that we don’t feel loved and appreciated because we don't recognize it as an act of love. Does that make sense??
So once we both realized this, just like the women on the podcast, we became more aware of what our partner needed and we could show them love in their language. When you understand your partners love language it helps take the guesswork out of your partner’s expectations and needs.
This changed everything for us! Our communication today is so much better, we tend to disagree less, and we definitely appreciate each other on a different level.
Knowing and understanding how your children feel loved and appreciated ("Love Language") can grow your relationship with them as well. One of my kid’s love language is “quality time” so I know when they ask me to do something with them like stay up late and watch a movie, even though I’m exhausted, I say, “yes!” because I know it makes them feel loved and appreciated. It’s totally worth it!
I would encourage you to read the book ASAP! It will change the level of joy you currently have in your life!
This post is based on our Humans Pursuit, creating and growing lasting relationships. To learn more about how our Love What's Next Six Pursuits can bring more joy into your daily life, click the link.
Comment below if you've read this book and how it's changed your life!
Embrace life and Love What's Next!!
Nicole Cavey is the Chief Pursuit Officer of Love What's Next. Through her personal journey to uncover what was next for her, she discovered that you can love where you are no matter what stage in life you are in... as long as you know how. Her mission is to show YOU how!