Do you ever stop to think why you're doing or saying something before you say or do it? So many times in our life we speak without thinking and hurt someone’s feelings or we act in a way to make ourselves feel or look better, but in reality we're really only damaging important relationships in our lives. Today’s blog post falls under our Humans Pursuit (creating lasting relationships).
I remember on my love what’s next journey listening to a podcast where the speaker was speaking on this topic and he said, “Just remember...you’re not that important.”
That really resonated with me, after I got over the shock of what seemed to be a harsh statement. Isn’t it so true though?! Why do we feel the need to put others down in order to build ourselves up or make ourselves feel better? We’re just not that important! Right?!
A really great question to quickly ask ourselves before we speak or act is, “What is my intention?”
Asking ourself this question is a good habit to practice because it can prevent us from saying or doing something that might create a break down in communication with the people we love. For example, I'm about to react to something my husband said that hurt my feelings. I stop and ask myself, "What is my intention in my reaction?" Is it to hurt him back and create a fight or is it to find a way to tell him that he hurt my feelings without making things worse? Because in all reality he may not have intended to hurt my feelings in the first place.
This is where the statement, “You’re not that important” comes into play. If I get all worked up because I think to myself, “He's so mean, how can he hurt MY FEELINGS like that?!” the situation escalates and now turns into a fight. When instead, if I think to myself, “He probably didn’t even mean or know he hurt me”, I can then react in a way that creates a healthy form of communication.
Another example might be when you are talking with your friends, and you're about to share a not so nice story you heard about someone you all know. STOP and ask yourself, “What is my intention in sharing this story?" I bet it will stop you quickly from sharing and prevent you from hurting someone.
Can you see how this could literally change the level of joy in your life just by taking two seconds before you speak or act, to ask yourself this simple question…"What is my intention?” I can't tell you how many times this has helped me in my relationships. Thinking before reacting, nine times out of ten, has helped me create lasting relationships with the people I love the most.
I hope this helps you find MORE joy in your daily life! Share in the comments section below if you can relate to this topic and how it can help you. Thank you!!!
Nicole Cavey is the Chief Pursuit Officer of Love What's Next. Through her personal journey to uncover what was next for her, she discovered that you can love where you are no matter what stage in life you are in... as long as you know how. Her mission is to show YOU how!