If you have been following Love What’s Next, you're hopefully getting more familiar with the "Six Pursuits to Love What’s Next". These six, key, life impacting, pursuits are the focus of all our Projects. If you aren’t familiar with them, follow the link to learn more. Love What’s Next Six Pursuits
Today’s blog post is inspired by our Humans Pursuit; Creating Lasting Relationships. As human beings, we are biologically programmed to create close bonds. We have a basic need to be connected with others and form strong relationships and it's proven we are happier, healthier and live longer when we have close relationships in our lives. In fact, studies show that 70% of our happiness comes from those healthy relationships.
So, today’s question is for each of us to look inward and ask ourselves, “Would I be friends with me?” Friends will come and go in our lives but the true friends are always there. Why?!
In my reflection and research to uncover the top qualities of a true friend, I realized that there are many qualities that make up a good friend but there are 7 that really count…at least in my opinion. When reading through each quality, ask yourself, “Am I that friend?"
Top 7 Qualities of a True Friend
1. They make you WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON
Friends aren’t just confidants, but role models. Through their example, their kindness and other special qualities, genuine friends bring out the best in us. They allow us to shine.
2. They DON’T JUDGE you
We all do stupid things…it’s inevitable right?! Nobodies perfect. A true friend won’t judge you or make you feel bad but they will help you find a solution to fix the problem. They also won’t hesitate to call you out when you are wrong. They care enough to say something which can be really tough to do.
3. They FORGIVE you
A true friend is around to weather the storm. When conflict arises, instead of talking behind your back they come to you directly to work things out.
4. They REALLY listen
Conversations will true friends are never one-sided. You can talk for hours and feel fulfilled.
5. They GENUINELY CARE about what is happening in your life
True friends know what is happening in your life and are genuinely interested in what’s important to you. They celebrate your wins, and are a soft shoulder to lean on when you don’t.
6. They TRUST
You can tell them anything and know it won't go any where. You always feel "safe" sharing your deepest, darkest feelings with them.
7. They SUPPORT you
A true friend is your biggest cheerleader. They always have your back and only want what’s best for you. When you decide to start a business, they're your first client. When you go back to school, they're your study partner. When you tell them you are moving away, they first cry with you, and then help you pack until the last box is on the truck.
ARE YOU THAT FRIEND?
Would you be friends with YOU?! If you are lucky enough to have one true friend, you are lucky enough. In our quest to love what’s next we can all strive to be that friend…seventy percent of your happiness depends on it! Choose to be that friend. Be a true friend on PURPOSE.
Embrace life and LOVE WHAT'S NEXT!
If you are lucky enough to have a friend like this, comment below and tell us what makes her or him special!
Today’s blog post was inspired by a priest I follow on social media, Father Mike Schmitz. Stay with me…this has nothing to do with religion. He shared on a podcast, how sometimes we attend church and just go through the motions. We don’t actually worship on PURPOSE.
So this really got me thinking about life in general. Am I just going through the motions, or am I living my life on purpose?
Every single day, we have to go through the motions, right?! We have to wake up, shower, eat, exercise, go to work, drive home, eat dinner, tend to our families, go to bed and then...start the whole thing all over again the next day. Of course, it varies slightly based on each individual's life, but basically the same things have to be achieved in a day.
What if, just what if, we actually did all those things on purpose instead of just going through the motions? What if you wake up in the morning creating a morning routine that brings you joy and accomplishes something meaningful? I believe that everything we do in the morning sets us up for the day we want to have. I also know that life throws us curve balls throughout the day, and I can’t guarantee that everything you set out to do will happen the way you planned, but I can guarantee you will be better equipped to handle whatever does.
Your Morning Routine on Purpose
Here’s what your morning would look like...
Your Job on Purpose
How could you do your job on purpose, instead of just going through the motions?
Love on Purpose
Do you love on purpose? Do you look for ways on purpose to show the people you care about how much they mean to you? Simon Sinek, motivational speaker and author, was speaking on this same topic when he asked the audience this question, “Why does your spouse or partner love you? Is it because one time you went on a date to dinner and a movie?" He said not even close...”It’s not one thing you do one time, but it’s what you do every day.”
70% of our happiness comes from our relationships with the people who mean the most to us, so why wouldn’t you make a conscious effort to love them on purpose and not just go through the motions?
Can you now see, how going through the motions on purpose, can make all the difference in your happiness? We all have to go through the motions of life so why wouldn’t you want to go through each day on purpose?
On my journey to love what’s next, I found it’s so much more fulfilling to live my life this way and because of it, I am happier and full of joy; being present, at peace and having purpose. I also believe the people in my life are happier too!
Do you have an example where going through the motions on purpose could or has changed your life? Please share in the comments below.
A couple years ago while on my love what's next journey, I ran across an episode of Saturday Night Live. Do you remember the skit, “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley”? He would sit in front of a mirror and tell himself daily affirmations... “I'm an attractive man", I am fun to be with, I’m entitled to my share of happiness.” Thinking back I remember how funny that skit was. As silly as it was though, I got to thinking that maybe Stuart Smalley was on to something. Not so much about staring into a mirror talking to yourself but the part about having daily affirmations. So on my journey to figure out what I was going to do next, I did a little research to see if there really was anything to this daily affirmation concept.
DAILY AFFIRMATIONS WORKED FOR THEM, WHY NOT ME THEN?
Affirmations are positive statements that describe a desired situation, and which are repeated many times, in order to impress the subconscious mind and trigger it into positive action. History has shown this to be extremely effective in getting a desired result. People like Henry Ford, Dale Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, and Woodrow Wilson all used daily affirmations to assist them in achieving incredible feats. So if daily affirmations can assist them in achieving the unimaginable like inventing cars, the light bulb and the telephone, surely daily affirmations can help me uncover "what’s next” and create a life I love.
Our subconscious mind accepts as truth whatever we continue to say to ourselves and eventually attracts corresponding events and situations in our lives. If we tell ourselves negative things all day then we are willing only negative things to happen but if we tell ourselves positive, daily, affirmations our outcome can only be one of joy. Because we have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day and 80% of them are negative, we really have our work cut out for us to change our natural way of thinking from negative to positive. Can you imagine how different our lives and this world would be, if out of those 60,000 thoughts, 80% were POSITIVE?! This is a challenge I’ll sign up for all day….wouldn’t YOU?
TIME, FOCUS AND FAITH
According to author Napoleon Hill, getting results with daily affirmations depends on several factors, such as the time, focus, faith and feelings you invest in repeating your affirmations, on the strength of your desire, and on how big or small is your goal. Napoleon says, it’s important to understand too, that repeating positive affirmations for a minute, and then thinking negative thoughts all day will only neutralize the effects of your positive words. You have to stop the negative thoughts, if you wish to gain positive results from this exercise.
Napoleon Hill also states that in order for this to work, you have to tell yourself positive statements such as “I am getting healthy” versus the negative “I am not unhealthy”. The negative statement invokes a negative image in the mind not a positive one. Always affirm in the present tense, not the future tense. Saying “I will be healthy”, means that you intend to be healthy one day, but not now. It is more effective to say and also feel, “I am healthy now", and the subconscious mind will work overtime to make this happen now, in the present.
HOPES AND DREAMS
Start your day and end with it telling yourself your daily affirmations. What is it you want to will to happen in your life? What are your hopes and dreams that you would like to see become a reality? I know it takes so much more than telling yourself , “I am______________”, two times a day to achieve success in life, but why wouldn’t you try daily affirmations and give yourself every opportunity to uncover what's next and create a life you love?!
Here are a few examples of "I AM" statements to help you construct yours:
“I AM physically fit and healthy.”
“I AM an excellent mother, sister and friend.”
“I AM making a difference in the lives of people I meet.”
“I AM taking a vacation every year with my family to some where exotic.”
“I AM fluent in Spanish.”
“I AM a great painter.”
“I AM loving to others because I show unconditional love to them.”
“I AM grateful for everything I have in my life.”
“I AM in a loving relationship."
“I AM living the life I have always dreamed of living.”
Will you try this??? Leave a comment below sharing your “I AM” statement and your commitment to giving this a try.
Nicole Cavey is the Chief Pursuit Officer of Love What's Next. Through her personal journey to uncover what was next for her, she discovered that you can love where you are no matter what stage in life you are in... as long as you know how. Her mission is to show YOU how!