I had this dream when my children were born that one day we'd be friends. Now I understood that I first would have to be a parent and guide them as best as I knew how through this crazy life but eventually, I hoped they would want to share their life and confide in me like a true friend.  This was my goal and it wasn't going to be easy I knew that for sure. 

I also knew it wasn't going to happen in high school and probably not fully in college either, although I hoped I had created the ground work while they were growing up that they could trust and rely on me for anything. 

As my children each graduated from college, our relationship did grow into an authentic friendship.  It's actually more than I could have possibly dreamed of having with each of them. They actually call to share what's going on in their lives without being prompted, and they genuinely want to spend time with me. Okay, so I do offer to make them dinner occasionally and make them cookies (lol) but I truly believe the feeling is mutual. The highlight of my transition into empty nest has most definitely been growing my relationship with my adult kids. 

So, how did I do it?! 

I could share all the ways I laid the ground work when they were kids but that's probably not going to help you today because if you're reading this most likely your kids are grown, right? I'm going to share a few things I do today to grow our relationship that will totally help move you in the right direction and then,  I'll share my number one tip at the end. 

1. BE INTERESTING 
Do you know what I mean? Don't talk about the crazy neighbor, the weather or go into detail about your favorite TV show (unless it's there's too).  Instead, challenge yourself to learn something new every day so you have something of interest to share. Read the news, listen to podcasts, talk to the person in line at the coffee shop or follow people on social media who inspire you and subscribe to their newsletter. Not only will this help with your kids but also grow your relationship with your husband or partner. If you're doing this you can always bring something interesting to the table. 

2. BE AN EXAMPLE
Go live your life! Experience all this life has to offer YOU! Now, is the time to try that cooking class, learn to dance, become a certified yoga instructor, join a group, volunteer, whatever interests YOU, go do it!  Kids are the same when they're young as well as adults, they learn by example and if you're living your life to the fullest so will they! 

3. BE VULNERABLE
This is the #1 tip but it's also the hardest for us moms! We're so use to being strong for our kids that the thought of being vulnerable seems counterintuitive right?! Well, think of it this way, when you're with a good friend and they open up and share something they're really struggling with, it grows your relationship right?! You feel more connected especially if you can help them work through their problem. This is the same with your adult kids, if you want to have an authentic relationship you have to open yourself up in a vulnerable way so they can feel safe to do the same. But not only that...they just might be able to help you work through what ever it is you're struggling with in your life. Give them that opportunity, they're pretty darn smart!!

This doesn't happen overnight by any means but it's a way to start. Be patient and overtime you'll see your relationship grow into a beautiful friendship! 

xoxo
Nicole

If you want to share any thoughts you have regarding your relationship with your adult kids, share with us in the comments below. 


  

 
Think about it…when was the last time you accomplished something meaningful on your own? Whether it’s raising kids, starting a new career or jump starting an old one, moving to a new city, recovering from a health crisis, or overcoming the loss of a loved one (just to name a few), we need each other and it takes a village as they say, to get through this life successfully!

Recently, I received the sweetest message from a friend I haven’t talked to in years. Last year she became an empty nester like me and was really struggling with the loss. She said looking back she’s not sure why it was so tragic but "it’s a huge heart thing…letting go.”  Her note was to thank me for inspiring her through Love What’s Next, "where women can get wisdom when they can’t see what’s right in front of them.” (her words)

Empty nest syndrome is a very real thing and can take a while for some of us to recover. Just like any of the examples I just noted, it takes a support system, a village, to overcome this struggle and move into the next chapter in life!

Her note touched my heart so much. I so love what I do and for her to take the time to share her heartfelt message meant the world to me. Thank you Valeri!

Are you struggling with something currently and trying to deal with it alone OR are you asking your friends and family for help?  Who’s in your village? Take the time today to thank them. Without them in your life, you wouldn’t be where you are today…guaranteed!  If you're looking for a village to help you maneuver through something meaningful, check out our Scholarship Program below! We'd love to be your support system.