Love What's Next During Empty Nest or Any Stage of Life

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"Mom Emotions"

6/20/2018

2 Comments

 
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Oh my goodness I struggle with knowing when to parent and when to just support my adult kids. Can you relate? I do trust that my husband and I've done our very best to raise them but you know when that "momma instinct" kicks in and you almost can’t stop yourself... what do you do?!

It’s so hard right?! I recently had an experience where my son was traveling 8 1/2 hours in his ’97 beater Geo Prism car, he lovingly named Gary, in a major thunderstorm (hail, tornados off in the distance, heavy rain) on his way to very important, life changing event.  Everything that could go wrong pretty much did. He had it all under control but I was dying inside wanting to “advise” him on what to do. 
  • Did you check your tires? 
  • Maybe you should leave earlier to allow for more time incase something happens along the way? (For the record plenty happened along the way.)
  • Why are you driving, why don’t you fly instead? (Clearly so I don't have to stress about you being on the road that long in Gary.)

Then the really, stupid, overprotective questions come into play, right? 

Like…
  • You know there’s a time change right? 
  • You lose an hour…you’re aware of that right?! 
  • Did you set your alarm? 
  • Do you want me to call you just to be sure you wake up on time? 
  • Do you have all your gear? 
  • Do you have a plan to eat healthy? 

Duh…it’s one of the most important days of his life and he’s not going to do or think of all these things! 

What is wrong with me!? 

I’M A MOM!! 

I don’t think that feeling will ever go away but for me it’s learning when and where it’s appropriate to “offer" my advice and how to control my “mom emotions" (which probably are the strongest emotions I carry with me). Learn how to trust that I really did do a good job teaching my kids how to function and be successful in life! I think it’s through trial and error we learn. 

I’ll admit it I didn’t have my finest moment through this one, but I definitely learned something...he does have his act together (I always knew this but remember that mom instinct to protect kicks in) he’s responsible, he’s spent the last four years on his own and he’s been able to create a successful life without me in his life every day! Isn’t that what we really want?

My mom says you never quit worrying about your babies no matter how old they are but you do learn how to support them, cheer them on, and pick them up if necessary from the sidelines instead of on the field, in the middle of the game!  In other words...Keep your mouth shut and only give advice when asked! Yikes that's going to be hard!! LOL

If you struggle with knowing when to parent your adult children, comment in the box below and share what you do to overcome the "momma instinct" to protect! 

xoxo
Nicole



2 Comments
Jean
6/20/2018 10:15:56 pm

Oh my gosh! I get it, empathize and struggle with this too! I can at times seeing my adult children walk towards a cliff while they wave st me and tell me not to worry ‘I got this’ and see beyond what they can see... I see the cliff behind them and somehow find the strength to hold my breath and hope they have a large parachute.
I cringe while I pray and regardless of the outcome, I applaud the effort and their journey!
I’m a Mom....I was this morning, I was last night and I will be for the rest of my days so.....I try to pass the torch for my adult children, relentlessly, but I do!
And that’s when I need my girlfriends!

Reply
Nicole
6/21/2018 10:26:44 am

That was said so well!!! "Walking towards a cliff"

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    Nicole Cavey is the Chief Pursuit Officer of Love What's Next. Through her personal journey to uncover what was next for her, she discovered that you can love where you are no matter what stage in life you are in... as long as you know how. Her mission is to show YOU how! 

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