No One Tells You How Hard It Will Be

8/2/2017

I cried the entire 16 hour drive home after dropping my youngest off at school his freshman year three years ago. I cried every time I walked past his room and he wasn't in it. I cried every time I thought about not seeing him every day. I cried A LOT the first year he was gone. I couldn't imagine anything hurting more than the last of my three babies leaving home and experiencing the world on his own! Sounds dramatic I know, but I couldn't help how I felt and no one else but a mother, could understand. Don't get me wrong, I was so excited for him. He was ready to take on the world and forge his own path in life, just like his two, older sibling did. I just didn't know what I was going to do next and that was really scary.

So I had to figure out how I was going to start MY NEW LIFE and find joy again without my kids. This is how "Love What's Next" was born. I knew I couldn't be the only one asking myself daily..."what's next?!" Actually, to be completely honest it was more like, "WTF am I going to do now!"

After years of searching, experiencing new things, and countless hours of research, I figured out how to really love where I am in my life. After launching Love What's Next and talking with hundreds of women, I knew my hypothesis was right... I'm not the only one who feels this way!! In fact, it's not just empty nest. It's any transition in life (a divorce, a career change, a move or death of a loved one) that can leave us feeling lost and unsure of what's next.

Your story may not be just like mine and that's okay, we all have our own, unique, story but if you're in a place where you are feeling lost or unsure of what to do next, I can help you. I've been down that long, winding road and I can honestly say that now, I truly have the most profound joy in my life.

Get on my calendar and let's talk about how I can help you create your new normal and a life you love again.
MY CALENDAR

3 Comments

Laurie Allen link

8/8/2017 07:20:39 pm

When I was first introduced to this project I immediately fell in love with the concept and overall idea. It was much later after it was developed that I got involved in one of the challenges and participated. Honestly I wasn't quite sure the impact it would have on me, but I really wanted to participate and see what I might learn or discover about myself...even though I was scared of what it might bring out (shhhh, that's a secret).
I was scared because I really wasn't sure my emotions could handle it. Within 6 months, I lost my mama and shipped my son off to his new adventure (college) hiding behind dark sunglasses and a fake smile. Wishing him well and helping him move into the fraternity house, I smoothed his bed while tears silently streamed down my face and blew silent kisses under his pillow as I tucked and straightened every corner for the perfect night sleep. I refused to call it his new home. It was just his place for now. As I rode the horrible ride home in the car (I already had myself ready for the excrutiating journey and prepared my tissues to cry) my husband stayed silent. Of course he was sad too, but he knew that I was beyond consoling or reasoning with. Once we made the final turn away from our son and and began the 2 hour drive home, I silently died inside. I had no 'what's next' in my short term thinking. I knew I really did, but for those months when mama wasn't there to call and our youngest was broadening his horizons, I was left with the 19 years of memories of him and the 24 years of his sister all behind us and the memories ahead of me just weren't all that inviting. The emptiness far outweighed the successful feelings I should have had. We had raised 2 exceptional young humans and they both were progressing towards "their next' so it was only reasonable that I should find 'my next'. Soon I learn about the 'Love What's Next" project formation and after thought and contemplation, I took a challenge. At first I was just task oriented, I'd see the email and 'get er done'. But as they progressed, you could say, so did I. I began to look for the challenge by day 3, then I really thought and loved completing them. Getting outside myself was my 'what's next'. Not to be to self absorbed and dripping with sappy emotions AND don't get me wrong, I'll never wish they move to their grown up stages faster, I still pine and whine for them to sit in my lap and I'd give all the money I had to look at each other even if it's angry faces around the table, but I'm now allowing myself to breathe and not feel guilty about being happy without them in my everyday moments. I guess you might say I struggle with SUCS aka 'Severed Umbilical Cord Syndrome'. I pray before my feet hit the floor and praise God for what's ahead because I don't know what's next (so many contexts). I've learned that by embracing and 'loving what's next' there is something waiting for me too. Little pieces become clear and little by little one will become more focused and I am able to act on it. That's not a normal feeling for me,I focus on others so when a few exciting things developed I was caught off guard. I have allowed myself to be creative and further develop a gift God gave me. I attribute this 'permission' much to this project. I'll soon be a published author and have my new product ready to distribute. I can wholeheartedly admit I am 100% a devoted Mama first and will always yearn for those sweet sticky faces and those sweaty, fat, stinky feet after a good playground bout...BUT I'm learning to 'love what's next' and letting myself not only pursue joy, but also recognize joy and be ok with joy for myself. Thanks LWNP xoxo

Nicole Cavey

8/8/2017 08:01:20 pm

words can not describe how I feel right now. You summed up every emotion I have had over the past 3 years. Thank you so much for sharing! I love what you just shared with me when you said that you can't stay in this place you have to keep moving and just be okay with the past.

Jamie Burnett

9/6/2017 04:05:04 pm

Here you are Laurie my sweet friend, teaching, loving, laughing and continuing to inspire me... I'm going to check this out! XOXO

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No One Tells You How Hard It Will Be

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